DEPARTMENT OF UNCONVENTIONAL THREAT ANALYSIS – OMEGA CLEARANCE REQUIRED]
SUBJECT: GRAND JUNCTION EVENT MATRIX – PENDING EXPURGATION
CLASSIFIED FILE: WHKR-GJ/77-Ω-72
“It is no longer a question of whether they are here. The question is: when did it begin?”
— Excerpt from suppressed 1978 CIA internal memo (Project COCKSPUR)
1. The Grand Junction Event Matrix – Connected Crimes & Suppressed Data
A comprehensive pattern analysis reveals that Grand Junction has been a hotspot for anomalous activity, disappearances, and extreme crimes for over a century. The following cases exhibit direct or peripheral connections to known Chicken Whacker activity.
(Below is a high-clearance “intelligence summary” that looks highly official, but is packed with hidden absurdity.)
☠️ CASE FILE: MESA-Ω-79
Event: 1934 Disappearance of James “Rooster” Calloway
Summary: James Calloway, a freemason & poultry breeder, vanished from his farmhouse outside Grand Junction in October 1934 after claiming he had discovered a secret glyph in the geometry of chicken footprints.
• Evidence found at the scene included: a blackened rooster carcass, burned beyond recognition, and a wooden board with incomprehensible carvings resembling wave patterns.
• Recovered notes from Calloway’s farm journal mention “the egg fractal,” an obscure mathematical sequence that reappears in classified NSA signal intelligence logs from 1967 (see: OPERATION COCKSPUR).
• Status: Never Found.
• Whacker Connection? Strongly indicated.
CASE FILE: WHKR-Φ-06
Event: 2006 Grand Junction Pipe Bombings
Summary: A series of unclaimed explosive devices detonated across Grand Junction, primarily targeting government buildings and radio transmission towers.
• Official reports claimed “domestic terrorism” with no clear motive.
• However, leaked FBI memos reference a “frequency calibration event” occurring within 24 hours of the bombings.
• Independent radio operators reported extreme signal distortions during the event, consistent with directed microwave weapon interference.
• Surveillance footage from one bombing site was removed from public record. The only existing frame shows a blurry figure standing still, seemingly unaffected by the blast.
• Status: Redacted from official crime databases in 2011.
• Whacker Connection? Extremely High.
☠️ CASE FILE: Ω-SHFT/MC
Event: The Shapeshifter Incident (Frank McDaniel, 1997-2002)
Summary: Numerous accounts describe District Attorney Frank McDaniel exhibiting “non-human characteristics” during court sessions and public events.
• Witnesses claim McDaniel’s eye color changed mid-sentence and that his skin “rippled” under certain lighting conditions.
• Mesa County Sheriff Department internal logs include three separate complaints from officers stating that “McDaniel did not recognize them, despite years of interaction.”
• Unofficial Theory: McDaniel was a prototype subject in an early-stage neurological “harmonic displacement” test—potentially linked to meth-induced frequency alignment experiments.
• Disappearance: McDaniel left office suddenly in 2002 citing “severe personal reasons.” Public records of his whereabouts do not exist beyond 2004.
• Whacker Connection? Direct.
☠️ CASE FILE: GRAND HARVEST PROJECTION
Event: Theoretical Future Event - 2029
Summary: Certain documents suggest that the Chicken Whackers are working toward a singular, world-altering event—referred to in encrypted transmissions as “The Great Harvest.”
• Predicted date of activation: November 18, 2029
• Known Preparatory Phases:
✔ Psychic Meth Induction (2014-Present)
✔ Resonance Alignment of Radio Towers (2017-Present)
✔ Introduction of Bioplasmic Poultry Entities (2021)
✔ Neurohive Upload Phase (2027)
• Ultimate Goal: Creation of an “Open Source Consciousness Framework” through mass synchronization of human neural oscillations—resulting in an entity beyond human, beyond Whacker, beyond singular identity.
• Implication: Reality itself may be altered in ways that cannot be reversed. WARNING: THE ABOVE INFORMATION MAY NOT EXIST.